erased entries

after writing some entries or comments, i feel so stupid. So, I delete them. I really appreciate your comments. I always torture myself by being insecure...

KUC went to retreat this weekend and I'm very excited to visit Church of Saviour in Wayne today. personally, I feel more and more that KUC has become a place for me to feel insecure instead of a place for me to worship God. I do have the desire to worhip and fellowship but after I got married, it's harder(I know, I know... excuses, excuses but i do have good reasons too) for me to get involved.
My Church feels like high school to me. Everyone has a group of friends... and there are people like us... loners... Sometimes I rather not talk to anyone so I don't mind. But sometimes I feel that I can't just go up to people because I don't belong to that group. I know, I know it's so silly but it's so true. Yes, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ but we are not all friends. I truly want to worship Christ without feeling this way.

Anyway, we took ASL to Dutch Wonderland yesterday. ASL was not feeling 100% and didn't want to do much. I took her on a merry-go-round ride. She cried the whole time! Poor thing... She enjoyed the Danger Rangers show(a bear, a cat, a dog and a teenager boy dancing and singing about safety) though. PL kept saying that I enjoyed it more than ASL did(We laugh about it because it may be true). We bought season tickets so we will go again this summer. It's smaller than I imagined but it's perfect for families. The bathrooms even have tiny toliets for tots and small sinks for them to reach.

I get tired easily. I'm definitely out of shape. I have to exercise, get surgery and go to dentist(I think my one wisdom tooth is coming out) this summer. And of course, hang out with ASL. She's such a cutie. I know she's my daughter but she's so cute!!! She can't say her name correctly so she says (ahm-na) and points herself. She's very shy and afraid of lots of things. I hope she will become more confident each day.